Why Now?

Part III

No commitment to job/career
In my "epilogue" post a month following the end of my bike journey across the country, I spoke to the idea of not being happy in my old working life and seeking a new one. That is the way I felt back in December, and that is still the way I feel about my old life now.

But let me tell you, it is a scary thing to not have steady, regular income arriving twice a month, no matter how much money I've saved up to help me with my transition. Now, don't get me wrong: no job anywhere, ever is "guaranteed." Market forces, the economy, whether or not a new boss arrives on the scene...all kinds of factors can mean the end of work that you may once have thought of as "going to be in this job until I retire." But, having a job in which the business is relatively established and which has been paying people just like you regular wages for months/years/decades is an extremely comforting situation.

And what I've consciously chosen is a severe degree of discomfort.

Waking up in the morning now is a LOT different than it used to be. Now, rather than know exactly what time I'll get into my office, exactly what meetings are on my schedule for the day, what work I need to get done for the day and roughly what I'm going to be doing that evening I get up and think:

OK...of all the many things I COULD be doing today, what is going to get me furthest towards my goals?

For the first time in my working life, no one but me is putting items on my calendar. No one but me really knows where I am or what I'm doing on a day-to-day basis. And no one cares. No one is wondering "where is David?"

I think it should feel more exhilarating than it does. But, right now, it just feels really scary. There have been times of the last week where I'm really questioning whether or not I'm doing the right thing. There was a time this morning as I was out running errands at 11am (something I NEVER could have done in the past several decades because I'd have been at work) when I started to panic. Started to feel the heavy burden of swimming against the tide.

Then I saw this Hyundai coming at me down the street.

 

"Yes, Hyundai undoubtedly employees tens of thousands of employees just in the US alone, not to mention around the world. But, at some point, Mr. Hyundai was just like me: a guy, alone, trying his best to do something different than what he might have been used to. He probably had lots of panic moments too. But look at that car now: he made it through."

And so, today at least, I'm still going forward with the idea of trying to forge a new path for myself in which I don't go back to my old career path. All thanks to Mr. Hyundai.

So, while I don't have a commitment to a job/career, in the traditional sense, I DO have a commitment to a job...just one I'm making up for myself as I go along. But more about my attempts to create new income streams in an upcoming post :)