(February 10)

Day 47 - Ocotillo to Pine Valley CA

The Queen Stage

 

Departing for my big day well before dawn.

After a breakfast of yogurt and chocolate-covered donuts at the Chevron, I began my ride just as dawn broke in the Western sky.

The climb up In-ko-pah is so steep, cars in the summer who run their A/C frequently overheat. Thus these reservoirs of radiator water. There were 19 reservoirs on my first, worst climb.

 

In pro cycling, climbs are rated as "Categories" based on what gear a car would need to be in in order to climb it. I'm changing that to classify climbs by how many radiator water reservoirs are required. So, I completed a 19RR climb today.

Patrick, my fellow tribesman. I met him just outside Live Oak Springs as he was headed, vaguely, towards New England. Patrick was quite the outdoor chef in that he had a roast chicken from Wal Mart in one of his front panniers that he used as the fixins for dinner on three consecutive camping nights. Roast chicken!

Ron Staschak from Maine...another tribesman! I met Ron just outside of Pine Valley and our very first topic of conversation was what a horrific day of climbing we had each experienced. Ron has been bike touring over shorter distances for a long time, but this is the first time he's touring for this kind of distance. His plan is to ride the Southern Tier and THEN head north to Maine and home.

Ron's "noseless" saddle. It's the first one I've ever seen (had no idea there was even such a thing before today) and I was immediately interested in it. Ron says it is "like sitting on a park bench." I can state without hesitation that I really wish I'd been sitting on a park bench for the last 2300 miles.

 

 

In the big pro cycling stage races...like the Tour de France...the toughest, most demanding stage of the race (also the one which carries the greatest prestige) is called the “Queen Stage.”

 

Today was the Queen Stage of my journey. I’ve never had a more difficult day on a bike. Not that I’m all that experienced as a cyclist (I’ve been riding only about 18 months or so), but it was so tough, I was almost staggering with fatigue when I checked into the motel in Pine Valley. Only 47 miles, but there was 5500 feet of climbing. And the first 10 miles...from Ocotillo up to In-Ko-Pah Road...was ALL uphill at an almost-entirely 6% grade. If I hadn’t ditched the trailer I would have never made it. As it stood, I still had to stop twice to take a drink and walk around a bit before I could keep climbing. And that was just the first of THREE long, steep climbs of the day.

 

As you all read in my post yesterday, I feared today. It was my Goliath. Having lived in San Diego for six years, I had a pretty good memory of these mountains. I knew it would be a righteous endeavor even on my road bike...not to mention doing it with my touring rig.

 

I won’t lie...it took all I had physically AND mentally. There was a point...about 2/3rds of the way up the first, worst climb….when I was, literally, crying at how hard it was to keep going. I’m sure that for better riders it wouldn’t be that hard, but for me at my level of fitness it was a supreme challenge.

 

But I made it. I didn’t walk any of the hills...I rode my bike up and over everything the route put in front of me including some headwinds along the way that a local rider turned back from and warned me against as he went back by me the other way not long after having passed me going my direction.

 

I know that tomorrow is technically my last riding day, but in reality today was the culmination...the literal and figurative peak...of my odyssey. All of the ghosts that started with me were exorcised. All of the long days of pondering and thinking about the future coalesced into one crystal clear vision on that first, worst climb. All of the fears and doubts which had dogged me these last several weeks escaped my mind and soul as the tears streamed down my face on that first, worst climb. I achieved what I didn’t even realize I wanted or needed when I started: peace..

 

And, more, I gained a belief in myself that...despite some very tough challenges in the past which I’d successfully conquered...I’ve never previously had. I know for a fact I’ve never previously believed I had this kind of courage in me. I didn’t ride out of my driveway to find courage per se, but I now realize that somewhere, somehow I was seeking confirmation that I had some. Maybe more than anything I’ve wanted for a long time, I wanted to prove...to myself...that I had the “right stuff.” I know that will sound strange to many reading this who know something of the things I’ve already accomplished in life, but this was different. This wasn’t done as part of some structured program where I “graduated.” It wasn’t simply having lost a certain amount of weight. Etc..

 

No, this was being deeply fearful on Christmas Day about what lay ahead. Seriously afraid it was going to prove more than I could handle and failing somewhere along the way. Worse, having to go back home and tell everyone that I, well, didn’t actually make it to San Deigo. I dreaded the shame and humiliation that I’d feel if I couldn’t make it. And STILL leaving my driveway that first morning anyway.

 

• This was me knowing the wind was going to be terrible….but STILL going out anyway.

• This was me failing to keep rule after rule. Meeting many other tourists who were camping every night, cooking every meal, etc....in other words, being the kind of bike tourist I had pictured as my ideal...and being forced to admit I was exactly what I feared I really was: a candyass. Knowing I didn’t measure up and feeling terrible about myself because of that knowledge. But STILL continuing my journey anyway.

• This was me fearing today’s huge riding challenge for over two months...and STILL making my way to the base of that hill this morning and beginning the ride up anyway.

• I have no idea what the future will hold for me, and I have many doubts as to whether or not I can make it all happen the way I envision it...but I’m going to damn well try anyway.

P.S.

I wanted to send a shout-out to Jim Ralph, my road angel today. Despite being former Navy, he was extremely kind to me, a former Army guy! He not only had offered to provide SAG support for me if needed (up to and including any kind of emergency, “I Can’T Do This” transportation in the back of his truck as far out at Gila Bend AZ!), but today he took a scenic drive out toward Jacumba just in case he could find me...and he did, in Live Oak Springs...and bring me some cold water and snacks for my ride. We had a wonderful conversation about bike touring in all its facets. Jim is planning to ride the Southern Tier later this year and had found my journal as part of his research for his trip. I’m pretty sure that I’ve made every mistake there is to make when it comes to bike touring, so I hope my misadventures help make his own tour as smooth as silk :)